Hilarious and Memorable Hellsing Abridged Quotes to Make You Laugh and Cringe

Hellsing Abridged is a series of parody videos created by Team Four Star, which lampoons the original anime adaptation of Kouta Hirano's manga series, Hellsing. The show follows the adventures of the vampire Alucard and his colleagues in the Hellsing Organization as they battle against various supernatural threats. However, what makes this series unique is its witty writing and hilarious voice acting, which has garnered it a massive cult following. So, if you're looking for some laughter along with your gore, then sit back and enjoy these hilarious Hellsing Abridged quotes!

First up, we have Alucard, the show's main character, who is voiced by the talented Curtis Arnott. His lines are often peppered with sarcastic quips and pop culture references that will leave you chuckling. For example, when asked by Integra why he massacred an entire village, Alucard responds with They started it. This tongue-in-cheek delivery perfectly captures the character's devil-may-care attitude.

Next, we have Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, the head of the Hellsing Organization. Her calm and collected demeanor is often undermined by the absurdity of the situations she finds herself in. When confronted by her traitorous uncle, she responds with You're telling me, the leader of the Hellsing Organization, that there are vampires in London? Well, color me shocked and call me Susan!

One of the show's most beloved characters is Seras Victoria, a former police officer turned vampire. Her sweet yet violent nature provides a great foil to Alucard's jaded personality. When asked how she feels about drinking blood, she responds with I dunno, I mean, how do you feel about drinking milk from cows? It's not like they were using it.

The villains of Hellsing Abridged are equally entertaining, with their over-the-top personalities and ridiculous schemes. One such character is Alexander Anderson, a fanatical Catholic priest who has a personal vendetta against Alucard. His bombastic speeches and zealotry make for some hilarious moments. When asked why he's so obsessed with killing Alucard, he responds with The Lord works in mysterious ways, but you...you just leave destruction in your wake like some sort of retarded sex hurricane!

Another memorable villain is Rip Van Winkle, a Nazi vampire who wields a giant musket. Her flirtatious behavior and love of opera make her an amusing addition to the show's cast. When confronted by Alucard, she responds with Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize we had a reservation for two assholes.

The show's humor isn't limited to its dialogue, however. The creators also incorporate visual gags and references to popular culture throughout each episode. For example, in one scene, Alucard drinks a potion labeled Drink Me and shrinks down to the size of a doll, a clear nod to Alice in Wonderland.

Overall, Hellsing Abridged is a hilarious parody of the original anime series that is sure to leave you laughing. Its clever writing and talented voice actors make it a must-watch for fans of both anime and comedy. So, if you're looking for some absurdity in your horror, give Hellsing Abridged a try!

Introduction

Hellsing Abridged is a parody series created by Team Four Star that pokes fun at the original Hellsing anime. The series features hilarious one-liners, witty comebacks, and memorable quotes that have become fan favorites. In this article, we will explore some of the best Hellsing Abridged quotes that have made us laugh out loud.

Alucard Quotes

I'm like a kid in a candy store, only I'm a vampire, and it's blood!

Alucard is the main character of Hellsing Abridged, and his quotes are some of the most memorable in the series. This quote perfectly captures his twisted sense of humor and love for violence. It's funny because it's so dark and twisted, but also because it's relatable in a weird way. Who hasn't felt like a kid in a candy store before?

I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.

This quote perfectly sums up Alucard's arrogance and superiority complex. He sees himself as superior to humans and other monsters alike, and this quote shows just how confident he is in his own abilities. Of course, it's also hilarious because it's such an absurd thing to say.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning... smells like victory.

This quote is a reference to the famous line from the movie Apocalypse Now. Alucard uses it to describe his love for violence and destruction, and it works perfectly in the context of the series. It's also funny because it's such a random thing to say in the middle of a battle.

Seras Victoria Quotes

I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm a big girl with boobies!

Seras Victoria is Alucard's protege and one of the funniest characters in the series. This quote perfectly captures her childishness and innocence, but also her newfound confidence as a vampire. It's funny because it's so unexpected, but also because it's a reminder that Seras is still just a kid at heart.

It's like trying to teach a potato to play the violin.

This quote is Seras's way of describing her frustration with trying to teach a police officer how to fight vampires. It's a hilarious metaphor that perfectly captures the absurdity of the situation. It's also relatable for anyone who has ever tried to teach someone something and failed miserably.

I have to pee.

This quote is one of the most iconic in the series, and it's all thanks to Seras's delivery. She says it with such urgency and seriousness that it becomes hilarious. It's also a great example of the series's ability to turn mundane moments into comedic gold.

Integra Hellsing Quotes

Gentlemen, let's put our dicks on the table.

Integra Hellsing is the head of the Hellsing organization, and this quote perfectly captures her no-nonsense attitude. She's not afraid to speak her mind and take charge, even if it means being crude or vulgar. It's also a great example of the series's ability to turn traditionally masculine moments into something funny and unexpected.

I'm British, I don't need a gun.

This quote is a perfect example of Integra's dry wit and sarcasm. She's not afraid to take jabs at her own culture, and this quote perfectly captures her confidence and self-assuredness. It's also funny because it's such a ridiculous thing to say in the middle of a battle.

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of my giant throbbing erection.

This quote is one of the funniest in the entire series, and it's all thanks to Integra's deadpan delivery. She says it with such seriousness that it becomes even more hilarious. It's also a great example of the series's ability to turn traditionally masculine moments into something funny and unexpected.

Conclusion

Hellsing Abridged is a series full of memorable quotes and hilarious moments. From Alucard's twisted sense of humor to Seras's innocence and Integra's dry wit, there's something for everyone in this series. These quotes have become fan favorites for a reason, and they're sure to keep us laughing for years to come.

Hellsing Abridged Quotes

If you're a fan of anime and haven't watched Hellsing Abridged, then you're missing out on some of the most hilarious and quotable lines in anime history. Here are some of the best:

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. - Alucard

Alucard is the ultimate badass vampire in Hellsing Abridged, and he knows it. This line is just one example of his arrogance, but we can't help but love him for it. He's like the James Bond of vampires, with his snarky one-liners and impeccable fashion sense.

It's a good thing vampires don't sparkle in sunlight, or we'd have to stake ourselves. - Integra

Integra is the leader of the Hellsing organization, and she doesn't have time for the Twilight nonsense. This line is a perfect jab at the sparkly vampires that have infiltrated pop culture in recent years. We're with you, Integra. Give us the old-fashioned bloodsuckers any day.

I haven't seen this many freaks since I visited an anime convention. - Seras

Seras is a former police officer turned vampire, and she's still getting used to her new life. This line is a hilarious reference to the often bizarre and eclectic nature of anime conventions. We can only imagine what kind of cosplay she saw there.

I may be a monster, but at least I have good taste in clothing. - Alucard

Alucard is not only a vampire, but he's also a fashion icon. His red trench coat and sunglasses are his signature look, and he wears them well. This line is a perfect reminder that even though he's a monster, he still has standards.

There's nothing like a good killing spree to start the day off right. - Alucard

Alucard loves nothing more than a good battle. He lives for the thrill of the fight, and this line is a perfect representation of that. It's not exactly something we would want to hear from someone in real life, but in the context of Hellsing Abridged, it's pure gold.

Remind me to never let Walter pack my lunch again. This sandwich tastes like betrayal. - Integra

Walter is the butler of the Hellsing organization, and he's known for his culinary skills. Unfortunately, this sandwich did not live up to expectations. Integra's reaction is hilarious, and it's a reminder that even the most skilled chefs can have an off day.

It's like my dear old dad always said: 'When in doubt, shoot twice and ask questions later.' - Alucard

Alucard's father was also a vampire hunter, and he had some pretty memorable advice. This line is a clever twist on the classic shoot first, ask questions later mentality, and it's just one example of the show's clever writing.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... except for maybe a vampire named Alucard. - Seras

Seras is not immune to Alucard's charm, but she's also not blind to his faults. This line is a perfect reminder that Alucard is not someone you want to mess with, especially if you're on his bad side.

I'm not crazy, I'm just really good at pretending to be. - Alucard

Alucard is a complex character, and this line is a perfect representation of that. He's not just a mindless killing machine; he's also intelligent and cunning. He knows how to manipulate people to get what he wants, and he's not afraid to play the part of the crazy vampire if it means achieving his goals.

Some people say I have a drinking problem. I say I have a killing solution. - Alucard

Alucard's love of blood is no secret, and this line is a perfect representation of that. He doesn't see his thirst for blood as a problem; he sees it as a solution to his problems. It's a dark and twisted way of looking at things, but it's also part of what makes Alucard such an interesting character.

In conclusion, Hellsing Abridged is a hilarious and clever take on the classic anime series. The writing is sharp, the characters are memorable, and the jokes are non-stop. If you haven't watched it yet, do yourself a favor and check it out. You won't regret it.

The Hilarious World of Hellsing Abridged Quotes

Introduction

The Quotes

1. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to bash your fucking brains in. - Alucard

This quote perfectly captures Alucard's brutal and violent nature. It's a great example of how the series takes the original anime's serious tone and turns it on its head. Instead of being terrifying, Alucard is hilarious in his over-the-top violence.

2. I'm a walking paradox, but at least I know I suck. - Seras Victoria

Seras is one of the funniest characters in the series, and this quote perfectly sums up her self-deprecating humor. She's a vampire who's still learning about her new powers, and she often finds herself in ridiculous situations. But despite all that, she still manages to keep a sense of humor about it all.

3. I'm like a vampire Batman, except I kill people and don't give a shit. - Alucard

This quote is a perfect example of Alucard's twisted sense of humor. He's a vampire who's been around for centuries, and he's seen it all. But instead of being jaded, he finds humor in the absurdity of it all.

The Point of View

The point of view in Hellsing Abridged is unique because it's a parody of the original anime. The creators of the series take the serious tone of the original and turn it on its head, creating a hilarious world where nothing is taken seriously. The characters are still the same, but they're exaggerated to ridiculous proportions. Alucard is even more violent, Seras is even more clumsy, and Integra is even more uptight.

The humor in the series comes from the absurd situations the characters find themselves in, as well as the witty banter they exchange. The voice actors do an excellent job of bringing the characters to life and adding their own humorous spin to the dialogue. The result is a series that's both hilarious and entertaining.

The Conclusion

If you're a fan of anime and comedy, then you definitely need to check out Hellsing Abridged. The series is filled with hilarious quotes and moments that will have you laughing out loud. The point of view of the series is unique and refreshing, and the humor is top-notch. So grab some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the hilarious world of Hellsing Abridged.

Keywords:

• Hellsing Abridged
• Hilarious Quotes
• Point of View
• Humorous Voice
• Parody

Farewell, Pipsqueaks: The Best Hellsing Abridged Quotes

Well, well, well. Looks like we've come to the end of our little journey together. I hope you've enjoyed your stay here at the Hellsing Abridged Quotes Museum, where we've collected the most hilarious and memorable lines from one of the greatest abridged series of all time.

Whether you're a die-hard fan of the original Hellsing anime or a newcomer to the franchise, there's no denying the sheer brilliance of Team Four Star's Hellsing Abridged. From Alucard's snarky one-liners to Seras's adorable confusion, this series has given us some of the funniest moments in anime history.

So, without further ado, let's take a look back at some of the best quotes that have made us laugh, cry, and possibly question our own sanity.

First up, we have the classic exchange between Alucard and Anderson in Episode 1:

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of how dead you are.

What?

Oh, I'm sorry. Let me put it in a language you might understand. [clears throat] I'll kill you.

Now, that's what I call a burn. Alucard's sassiness is one of the main reasons why we love him so much, and this quote perfectly encapsulates his devil-may-care attitude.

Next, we have a line from Episode 3 that perfectly sums up the dynamic between Alucard and Seras:

You know what they say, police girl. When life gives you lemons...

Make lemonade?

No. Suck on those lemons and let the sour taste remind you of the pain and suffering you've been through.

Okay, maybe that's a little dark, but you have to admit it's hilarious. Alucard's mentorship of Seras is one of the most heartwarming aspects of the series, and this quote shows just how weirdly caring he can be.

Speaking of weirdly caring, let's not forget about Integra. She may seem like an ice queen on the surface, but she has her moments of vulnerability, as seen in this quote from Episode 4:

I don't believe in fate or destiny. I believe in various degrees of hatred, paranoia, and abandonment.

Wow, talk about a bleak worldview. But you can't deny the poetic beauty of Integra's words here. It's a reminder that even the strongest of us have our inner demons to battle.

Of course, we can't talk about Hellsing Abridged without mentioning the Major. This Nazi madman may be a despicable villain, but he's also one of the funniest characters in the series. Take this quote from Episode 5:

Gentlemen! I like war. Gentlemen! I LOVE WAR. I like genocide. I like human suffering. I like seeing people kill each other. But you know what I love more than anything else? [dramatic pause] Talks. About. War.

The Major's over-the-top enthusiasm for all things violent is both disturbing and hilarious. You can't help but marvel at how the writers managed to turn a genocidal maniac into a comedic goldmine.

And finally, we have a quote from Episode 8 that perfectly sums up the essence of Hellsing Abridged:

You know, Seras, there comes a time in every person's life when they have to ask themselves: 'What do I believe in?'

And what do you believe in, Alucard?

I believe...in a thing called love. Just listen to the rhythm of my heart.

Okay, so maybe that's not the most profound quote in the world. But it's a perfect example of the random, off-the-wall humor that makes Hellsing Abridged so special. It's a series that doesn't take itself too seriously, and that's why we love it.

So, my dear Pipsqueaks, that concludes our tour of the Hellsing Abridged Quotes Museum. I hope you've enjoyed reliving some of the funniest moments from this amazing series. And who knows? Maybe one day we'll get a Season 2. Until then, stay weird, stay funny, and remember: We are the bird of Hermes, and nothing can stop us!

People Also Ask About Hellsing Abridged Quotes

What is Hellsing Abridged?

Hellsing Abridged is a parody series created by Team Four Star, which takes the original anime series Hellsing and re-edits it to create a condensed, humorous version of the story.

What are some of the best quotes from Hellsing Abridged?

There are many memorable quotes from Hellsing Abridged, but here are a few fan favorites:

1. I can't believe we're still fighting these assholes. - Alucard
2. I'm a monster, not a murderer. - Alucard
3. You have failed your master. Now you must pay the price for your incompetence. - Integra Hellsing
4. The bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Alucard
5. I'm gonna put so many rounds into their ass, they'll be coughing up bullets! - Seras Victoria

Why do people love the Hellsing Abridged quotes?

People love the Hellsing Abridged quotes because they are often hilarious and irreverent, poking fun at the original anime series while still paying homage to it. The quotes also showcase the unique personalities of the characters and their witty banter.

In conclusion

If you're a fan of Hellsing Abridged, chances are you've got a favorite quote or two that you love to quote at any given opportunity. Whether it's Alucard's snarky comments or Seras' badass one-liners, the quotes from this parody series are sure to put a smile on your face.