Laugh Out Loud with Red Green: Top Quotes from the Popular Comedian

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Are you ready to laugh and learn about life at the same time? Then Red Green quotes are just what you need. This iconic character from The Red Green Show has been entertaining audiences for years with his witty one-liners and hilarious observations. From his take on marriage to his thoughts on technology, Red Green’s quotes are both humorous and insightful. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to chuckle as we explore some of the best Red Green quotes out there.

Let’s start with one of his most famous quotes: “If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.” This gem perfectly sums up Red Green’s attitude towards life – he may not be the most conventionally attractive man, but he’s got plenty of skills that make him useful in other ways. It’s a funny reminder that there’s more to life than just looks.

Another classic Red Green quote is this one: “Remember, I’m pulling for you. We’re all in this together.” This is a great example of how Red Green uses humor to connect with people on a deeper level. It’s a simple message of support and encouragement, but the way he phrases it makes it feel like he’s speaking directly to you. It’s a reminder that, no matter what challenges we face, we’re never alone.

Of course, Red Green’s humor isn’t just limited to pithy one-liners. He’s also got plenty of thoughts on the big issues, like marriage. As he once said, “Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” It’s a funny take on the complexities of relationships, and a reminder that sometimes we just have to go with the flow.

But Red Green isn’t just a philosopher of love – he’s also got some thoughts on technology. “If a man says he’ll fix something, he will. There’s no need to remind him every six months about it.” This quote perfectly captures Red Green’s skepticism towards modern gadgets and gizmos. It’s a funny reminder that sometimes the old ways are the best ways.

Of course, Red Green’s humor isn’t for everyone. As he once said, “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV. And by ‘play one’, I mean ‘make fun of them’.” This is a great example of his self-deprecating humor, but it’s also a warning that not everyone will appreciate his brand of comedy. But for those who do, Red Green is a beloved figure who can always be counted on to make you smile.

At the end of the day, Red Green quotes are more than just jokes – they’re a reminder to not take life too seriously. Whether he’s making fun of himself or poking fun at society, Red Green’s humor is all about finding the joy in everyday moments. So, the next time you’re feeling down, remember these words of wisdom from the man himself: “When life hands you lemons, just add vodka.”

So, there you have it – a roundup of some of the best Red Green quotes out there. Whether you’re a longtime fan of The Red Green Show or you’re just discovering his humor for the first time, there’s something for everyone in his witty observations and clever one-liners. So, go forth and spread the joy of Red Green – and remember, we’re all in this together.


Introduction

If you are a fan of Canadian television, then you must have heard about Red Green. He is a character that has been around for decades, and he always has something hilarious to say. For those who don't know, Red Green is a fictional character portrayed by Steve Smith. He is the star of the Canadian television series The Red Green Show, which aired from 1991 to 2006. In this article, we'll be looking at some of the funniest and most memorable Red Green quotes.

If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

This is one of the most famous Red Green quotes, and it perfectly captures his sense of humor. The quote means that even if you aren't the best-looking guy out there, you can still be useful to women by being handy around the house. Red Green often uses this quote whenever he is trying to impress a woman, and it always gets a laugh.

Keep your stick on the ice.

Another classic Red Green quote is Keep your stick on the ice. This quote is a reference to hockey, and it means that you should always be prepared for anything that comes your way. Red Green often uses this quote as a way to encourage people to be ready for whatever life throws at them.

If it ain't broke, you're not trying.

Red Green is known for his inventive and often ridiculous solutions to problems. This quote perfectly sums up his approach to life. He believes that if something isn't broken, you should try to fix it anyway. This quote is often used to poke fun at people who are satisfied with the status quo.

I'm a man, but I can change if I have to, I guess.

Red Green is a true man's man, but even he knows that sometimes he needs to change. This quote is often used to show that Red Green is willing to adapt to any situation. It's also a playful jab at the stereotypical manly man who is stubborn and resistant to change.

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Red Green is known for his clever observations about modern life. This quote is a perfect example of his wit and humor. It's a funny and lighthearted way of pointing out how much we rely on electricity in our daily lives.

Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.

One of the things that makes Red Green such a beloved character is his sense of community. This quote is often used to show that Red Green is always rooting for people to succeed. It's a reminder that we are all in this together, and we should support each other whenever we can.

If at first, you don't succeed, use duct tape.

Duct tape is the unofficial symbol of Red Green's problem-solving skills. This quote is a humorous way of saying that if something doesn't work the first time, you should try again with duct tape. It's a testament to Red Green's inventive and resourceful nature.

When in doubt, make it stout.

Red Green is a big fan of beer, and he often uses beer-related puns in his quotes. This quote is a play on the phrase when in doubt, play it safe. Instead, Red Green suggests that when in doubt, you should make your beer stout. It's a funny and unexpected twist on a familiar saying.

I'm a walking disaster, but I'm wearing safety shoes.

Red Green is a bit of a klutz, but he always makes sure to wear his safety shoes. This quote is a humorous way of acknowledging his own shortcomings while also emphasizing the importance of safety. It's a reminder that even if you're not perfect, you can still take steps to protect yourself.

If it's stuck and it's supposed to move, use WD-40. If it moves and it's not supposed to, use duct tape.

This quote is similar to the earlier quote about duct tape, but it adds another element to Red Green's problem-solving skills. He suggests that if something is stuck and needs to move, you should use WD-40. But if something is moving when it shouldn't be, you should use duct tape. It's a funny and practical approach to fixing things.

Conclusion

Red Green is a beloved character who has entertained audiences for decades. His quotes are funny, clever, and often contain a kernel of truth. Whether you're a fan of his show or just appreciate his sense of humor, there's no denying that Red Green is a Canadian icon. So, the next time you're faced with a problem, remember to keep your stick on the ice and make it stout!

Red Green Quotes: The Duct Tape Philosopher

As a Canadian comedy legend, Red Green has given us plenty of laughs and sage advice over the years. With his trusty roll of duct tape always at the ready, he's tackled everything from home repair to personal growth. Here are some of his most memorable quotes that remind us to always be handy, resourceful, and hilarious:

If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

Red Green knows that the key to a successful dating life involves being useful around the house. If you can fix a leaky faucet or build a bookshelf, you're already ahead of the game. And if all else fails, just offer them some duct tape.

If life gives you lemons, just duct tape 'em together.

Red Green's solution to any problem is always a roll of duct tape. From fixing a broken car bumper to patching up a ripped tent, there's nothing that can't be solved with some sticky silver magic. Who needs lemonade when you have duct tape?

I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.

Red Green is open to personal growth, but only as a last resort. He'd much rather stick to his tried-and-true methods of duct tape and DIY fixes. But if push comes to shove, he's willing to adapt...a little bit.

Remember, if the women don't find you handsome, they can always find you hilarious.

Red Green's backup plan for dating success involves making them laugh. Whether it's with a silly joke or a wacky invention, he knows that humor can be just as attractive as good looks. Plus, laughter is the best medicine...even for a broken heart.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

Red Green realizes that being a successful somebody can take many forms. Maybe you want to be a movie star, or a famous athlete, or a bestselling author. Or maybe you just want to be the world's foremost duct tape expert. Whatever your dreams may be, aim high and aim specific.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

Red Green knows the importance of leading by example, even if it's a bad one. If you can't be a role model for others, at least show them what not to do. It may not be the most noble path, but hey, someone's got to be the cautionary tale.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Red Green recognizes the power of a good haircut, but also the danger of a bad one. Your appearance may not define you, but it certainly plays a role in how others perceive you. So make sure you keep those locks in tip-top shape...or invest in a nice hat.

It's not the mistakes in life that are important, it's how you cover them up that counts.

Red Green's philosophy on dealing with failure involves lots of duct tape. Whether you've made a small mistake or a big one, the key is to patch it up as best you can and move on. No need to dwell on the past when you can fix it and forget it.

The secret to a happy marriage is two bathrooms.

Red Green's advice for a happy marriage involves a significant investment in home improvement. Sharing a bathroom can be a recipe for disaster, so why not double up? That way, you can both have your own space and avoid any...unpleasant surprises.

If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Red Green reminds us that when life is going too well, it's probably a sign that we're headed for disaster. After all, nothing worth having comes easy. So if you find yourself cruising down Easy Street, it might be time to switch lanes and take on a new challenge.

In conclusion, Red Green may be a fictional character, but his wisdom and humor have resonated with audiences for decades. Whether you need a quick fix or a good laugh, he's always there with a roll of duct tape and a witty one-liner. So the next time you're feeling stuck, just remember: WWRRD (What Would Red Green Do)?


The Humorous Wisdom of Red Green Quotes

Introduction

Red Green is a beloved Canadian comedian and television personality known for his witty one-liners and hilarious quips. His unique brand of humor is often self-deprecating, poking fun at himself and his fellow men. But beneath the laughs, there is a nugget of wisdom in each of his jokes. In this story, we explore the world of Red Green quotes and their underlying messages.

The Quotable Red Green

Red Green has been entertaining audiences for over 25 years, both on television and in live performances. His quotes have become legendary among his fans and are often used as a source of inspiration and humor. Here are some of his most memorable quotes:

  1. If it ain't broke, you're not trying.
  2. Keep your stick on the ice.
  3. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
  4. I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.
  5. If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

The Point of View of Red Green Quotes

Red Green's point of view is that life is full of challenges, but with a little bit of humor and ingenuity, anything is possible. He often uses his own experiences as a source of inspiration, sharing his successes and failures with his audience. His quotes encourage us to look for the humor in everyday situations and to never give up, even when things seem impossible.

The Importance of Humor

Humor is an important aspect of Red Green's quotes. He believes that laughter is the best medicine and that it can help us through even the toughest of times. His humor is often self-deprecating, poking fun at his own shortcomings and those of his fellow men. But underlying the humor is a message of hope and resilience. Red Green encourages us to find joy in the simple things and to never take ourselves too seriously.

Conclusion

Red Green's quotes are more than just funny one-liners. They are a source of inspiration and wisdom, reminding us to never give up and to always look for the humor in life. His unique perspective on the world has endeared him to audiences around the world, and his legacy continues to inspire new generations of fans. So keep your stick on the ice, and remember, we're all in this together.

Keywords Definition
Red Green A Canadian comedian and television personality known for his unique brand of humor
Humor The quality of being amusing or comical
Point of view A particular attitude or way of looking at something
Inspiration The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative

Farewell, my fellow Red Green enthusiasts!

Well, it's been a wild ride reminiscing about all the hilarious and iconic quotes from the world of Red Green. We've had our fair share of laughs, groans, and eye-rolls at some of these one-liners, but that's what makes them so great!

As we conclude our journey, I want to leave you with a few final nuggets of wisdom from the man himself.

Firstly, let's talk about Red's love for duct tape. If there's one thing he's taught us, it's that duct tape can fix just about anything. As he once said, If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.

Of course, we can't forget about Red's signature catchphrase - Keep your stick on the ice. It's a simple phrase, but it holds so much meaning. It's a reminder to always stay focused, stay grounded, and keep pushing forward.

Speaking of catchphrases, who could forget about Harold's infamous Possum Lodge Word Game? I don't know about you, but trying to decipher those jumbled up words was always a challenge for me. But hey, if it keeps our minds sharp, why not give it a go?

Moving on, let's give credit where credit is due - Red Green has some serious dad joke game. One of my personal favorites is, I tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find. Classic.

And then there's Red's take on love and marriage. He once said, Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade. Ouch.

But hey, it's not all doom and gloom. Red also knows how to appreciate the simple things in life. As he once said, You know what they say, 'Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.' Wise words, my friends.

In conclusion, I hope this trip down memory lane has brought a smile to your face and a chuckle to your heart. Red Green may be a fictional character, but his impact on Canadian comedy (and beyond) is undeniable.

So, until next time, keep your stick on the ice, your duct tape handy, and always remember to laugh - even (especially) at yourself. Farewell, Possums!


People Also Ask About Red Green Quotes

Who is Red Green?

Red Green is a fictional character portrayed by Canadian comedian Steve Smith. He is the star and main character of the television show The Red Green Show, which aired from 1991 to 2006.

What are some of Red Green's most famous quotes?

  • If it ain't broke, you're not trying.
  • Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
  • If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
  • If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

These quotes have become iconic in the world of comedy and are often referenced by fans of The Red Green Show.

Why do people love Red Green quotes?

Red Green's humor is unique and relatable. His quotes often poke fun at everyday situations and offer clever and humorous solutions to problems. They are also memorable and easy to quote, making them perfect for sharing with friends and family.

What can we learn from Red Green quotes?

  1. Don't take things too seriously.
  2. Be resourceful and use what you have.
  3. Laugh at yourself and your mistakes.
  4. Remember that we're all in this together.

Red Green's quotes may be silly and humorous, but they also offer valuable life lessons that we can all apply in our own lives.

So, remember to keep it light, be creative with what you have, and don't forget to laugh along the way. And always remember: If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.